Teacher

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Teacher: Baten, what’s the opposite of "ভেজাল" (impure)?
Baten: Pure, Sir.
Teacher: Good.
Baten: Bad.
Teacher: (angrily) Rude!
Baten: Polite.
Teacher: (even more angry) Get out!
Baten: Sit down.

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The teacher said to a student, "You’re doing terribly in studies. Tomorrow, bring your father to school. I need to consult with him."
The student replied, "But Sir, that will cost a fee!"
Teacher: Fee? Why?
Student: My father is a lawyer. He doesn’t consult for free.

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Teacher: Zahid, where do teachers belong?
Zahid: Behind me, Sir.
Teacher: (furious) Haven’t you learned to respect teachers? You’ll never achieve anything!
Zahid: Why, Sir? My father always says, “I’ve kept so many teachers behind you, but you still couldn’t pass!”

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During an exam, a girl started crying loudly.
Teacher: Why are you crying?
Girl: The essay didn’t match!
Teacher: What was the topic?
Girl: "Student Life," Sir. But I’m a girl, not a boy!

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Teacher: Boy, give two examples of pronouns.
Student: Who? Me?
Teacher: Good. Sit down.

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An inspector visited a history class and asked the top student, "Who destroyed the Somnath temple?"
Student: (panicked) I didn’t, Sir! I swear, I didn’t destroy anything! Please believe me, Sir!
The inspector turned to the teacher and asked, "What is this nonsense?"
Teacher: He’s a good boy, Sir. He would never destroy a temple!

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Teacher: Ronnie, point out America on this map.
Ronnie points it out.
Teacher: Very good. Now, Johnny, who discovered America?
Johnny: Ronnie, Sir.

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Teacher: Monty, what is an amphibian?
Monty: A creature that can live on both land and water.
Teacher: Good. Now, Rontu, give an example of an amphibian.
Rontu: A duck, Sir.

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Student: Sir, why do you have such a big bald patch on your head?
Teacher: (pulling the student’s hair) See? That’s why.
Student: You could’ve just explained, Sir. Why the practical demonstration?

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Teacher: Tell me, Asif, what is the smallest fish in the world?
Asif: A microbe, Sir.

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In a math class:
Teacher: If 15 workers take 12 hours to build a wall, how long will 5 workers take?
Student: Why build it again? The first group already did it!

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During a science lesson on oxygen:
Teacher: We breathe in oxygen all day. So, what do we breathe in at night?
Student: Nitrogen, Sir!

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A teacher angrily asked a student why he was late to class.
Student: Sir, I was dreaming that I was playing football. The game went into extra time and then a tiebreaker. I couldn’t wake up mid-match, Sir.

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Teacher: Nishik, when was Akbar born?
Nishik: It’s not in the book, Sir!
Teacher: Who said that? It’s written right next to Akbar’s name: "1542-1605."
Nishik: Oh! I thought it was his phone number. No wonder it kept saying wrong number!

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During an exam, one student wrote: “Emperor Shah Jahan never broke under pressure.”
Another copied it but wrote: “Emperor Shah Jahan never wore underwear under pressure.”

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Teacher: Why are you sleeping in my class?
Student: Sir, your voice is so soothing, it puts me to sleep!
Teacher: Then why aren’t the others sleeping?
Student: Because they don’t listen to you as attentively as I do!

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Teacher: Tell me, Abul, how many types of fathers are there?
Abul: Two types, Sir. "Father of the Nation" and "Dangerous."
Teacher: Wrong! There’s one more: "Your father’s about to cane you!"
Abul: Then there’s another: "Running away fast is advantageous."
Another student chimed in, "And if the teacher can’t catch Abul, it’s embarrassing."

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A logic class:
Teacher: If you sit on a chair and the chair touches the ground, then you’re sitting on the ground. Can you give a similar example?
Student: Sir, if you eat chicken, and the chicken ate worms, then you’ve eaten wo