Student and Teacher: Hilarious Jokes
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Student and Teacher: Hilarious Jokes
Teacher: Who invented "I love you"?
Student: China Company.
Teacher: (surprised) How did you figure that out?
Student: It has no guarantee or quality... If it works, it lasts forever. If not, it doesn't last two days.
Teacher: Can you give a good example of a thief?
Student: “Wisdom increases after the thief escapes,” so to gain more wisdom, we should always let the thief escape.
In a Grade 1 class:
Teacher: Bolt, tell me, which is the happiest animal?
Bolt: The elephant, sir!
Teacher: Why?
Bolt: Sir, it’s always smiling with its teeth showing!
Teacher: Why aren’t chickens as tall as giraffes?
Student: Sir, if they were, the eggs would fall and crack. Then we couldn’t eat them!
Teacher: Everyone who isn’t a fool, sit down.
(All students sit except one.)
Teacher: Why are you still standing? Are you a fool?
Student: No, sir. But you standing alone looked bad, so I thought I’d keep you company.
Teacher: If you place a rooster’s egg on a slanted roof, what will happen?
Student: It will roll down the slope.
Teacher: Good.
(Arif raises his hand.)
Teacher: Yes, Arif?
Arif: Sir, the egg won’t fall; it will float.
Teacher: What? How?
Arif: Because it’s a magic egg laid by the rooster!
Teacher: Why are you upset?
Student: Sir, it’s nothing.
Teacher: Don’t be shy. Speak up, I’m like a friend.
Student: Well, sir, your daughter doesn’t love me as she used to!
(Teacher faints.)
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During a lesson, a student suddenly stood up:
Student: Sir, I need to pee!
Teacher: Go quickly and come back!
(After a while, another student raises his hand.)
Student: Sir, I need to pee too!
Teacher (angrily): What’s wrong with you all? Does pee come out of your mouths?
Student: No, sir. Does it come out of yours?
Teacher: What do you want to be in the future?
- Rana: A pilot.
- Sumit: A doctor.
- Lisa: A good mother.
- Rokon: I want to help Lisa achieve that.
Teacher: Do you want to say a dialogue or a paragraph?
Student: A dialogue, sir.
Teacher: Go ahead.
Student: I’ll hit you here, and your body will reach the crematorium!
Teacher: What?!
Student: I’m your dad, Fata Kesto!
Teacher: What will you do if there’s no way to start a fire?
Student: Easy, sir!
Teacher: How?
Student: Put a Robi SIM card in the stove and tell it to ignite itself!
Teacher: Why are you still playing around when your exam is tomorrow?
Student: Sir, I have a problem.
Teacher: What problem?
Student: Sir, my admit card has my name as "Karim Bal" instead of "Karim Lal." Can you cut "Bal" and write "Lal"?
Teacher: Sing a song.
Students: Sure, sir.
Girl: On the guava tree sits a parrot, on the coconut tree hangs a coconut.
Boy: I’ll marry you, so what will your dad do about it?
Teacher: That’s 100% love, love, love!
Teacher: What do you do if someone’s drowning?
Student: Grab their hair and pull them out.
Teacher: What if it’s me?
Student: I won’t save you, sir.
Teacher: Why?!
Student: Because you’re bald, sir.
Two students were fighting.
Teacher: Why are you fighting?
1st Student: Sir, he kissed my girlfriend!
Teacher: Who’s your girlfriend?
1st Student: Your daughter, sir.
Teacher: Then hit him harder!
Teacher: What’s the full form of H.S.C.?
Student: Easy! H = Headmaster, S = Sandal, C = Thief.
Teacher: You rascal!
Student: Exactly, sir.
Teacher: Name five flowers.
Student: Your daughter is beautiful, her smile is wonderful, her figure is houseful, my name is Saiful, and my father-in-law is Ashraful!
Teacher: Write "55."
Student: Where should I write it—left or right?
Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Student: The moon, sir.
Teacher: Why?
Student: The moon gives us light at night when we need it. The sun gives light in the daytime when we don’t need it.
A teacher asked, “What does a cow give us?”
Student: Sir, it gives us headbutts!
Teacher: Monty, can you tell me the English word for "হাসা" (laugh)?
Monty: Jump.
Teacher: Then what’s the English for "হাসাহাসি" (laughing together)?
Monty: Jumping, Sir!
Teacher: Baten, what’s the opposite of "ভেজাল" (impure)?
Baten: Pure, Sir.
Teacher: Good.
Baten: Bad.
Teacher: (angrily) Rude!
Baten: Polite.
Teacher: (even more angry) Get out!
Baten: Sit down.
The teacher said to a student, "You’re doing terribly in studies. Tomorrow, bring your father to school. I need to consult with him."
The student replied, "But Sir, that will cost a fee!"
Teacher: Fee? Why?
Student: My father is a lawyer. He doesn’t consult for free.
Teacher: Zahid, where do teachers belong?
Zahid: Behind me, Sir.
Teacher: (furious) Haven’t you learned to respect teachers? You’ll never achieve anything!
Zahid: Why, Sir? My father always says, “I’ve kept so many teachers behind you, but you still couldn’t pass!”
During an exam, a girl started crying loudly.
Teacher: Why are you crying?
Girl: The essay didn’t match!
Teacher: What was the topic?
Girl: "Student Life," Sir. But I’m a girl, not a boy!
Teacher: Boy, give two examples of pronouns.
Student: Who? Me?
Teacher: Good. Sit down.
An inspector visited a history class and asked the top student, "Who destroyed the Somnath temple?"
Student: (panicked) I didn’t, Sir! I swear, I didn’t destroy anything! Please believe me, Sir!
The inspector turned to the teacher and asked, "What is this nonsense?"
Teacher: He’s a good boy, Sir. He would never destroy a temple!
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Teacher: Ronnie, point out America on this map.
Ronnie points it out.
Teacher: Very good. Now, Johnny, who discovered America?
Johnny: Ronnie, Sir.
Teacher: Monty, what is an amphibian?
Monty: A creature that can live on both land and water.
Teacher: Good. Now, Rontu, give an example of an amphibian.
Rontu: A duck, Sir.
Student: Sir, why do you have such a big bald patch on your head?
Teacher: (pulling the student’s hair) See? That’s why.
Student: You could’ve just explained, Sir. Why the practical demonstration?
Teacher: Tell me, Asif, what is the smallest fish in the world?
Asif: A microbe, Sir.
In a math class:
Teacher: If 15 workers take 12 hours to build a wall, how long will 5 workers take?
Student: Why build it again? The first group already did it!
During a science lesson on oxygen:
Teacher: We breathe in oxygen all day. So, what do we breathe in at night?
Student: Nitrogen, Sir!
A teacher angrily asked a student why he was late to class.
Student: Sir, I was dreaming that I was playing football. The game went into extra time and then a tiebreaker. I couldn’t wake up mid-match, Sir.
Teacher: Nishik, when was Akbar born?
Nishik: It’s not in the book, Sir!
Teacher: Who said that? It’s written right next to Akbar’s name: "1542-1605."
Nishik: Oh! I thought it was his phone number. No wonder it kept saying wrong number!
During an exam, one student wrote: “Emperor Shah Jahan never broke under pressure.”
Another copied it but wrote: “Emperor Shah Jahan never wore underwear under pressure.”
Teacher: Why are you sleeping in my class?
Student: Sir, your voice is so soothing, it puts me to sleep!
Teacher: Then why aren’t the others sleeping?
Student: Because they don’t listen to you as attentively as I do!
Teacher: Tell me, Abul, how many types of fathers are there?
Abul: Two types, Sir. "Father of the Nation" and "Dangerous."
Teacher: Wrong! There’s one more: "Your father’s about to cane you!"
Abul: Then there’s another: "Running away fast is advantageous."
Another student chimed in, "And if the teacher can’t catch Abul, it’s embarrassing."
A logic class:
Teacher: If you sit on a chair and the chair touches the ground, then you’re sitting on the ground. Can you give a similar example?
Student: Sir, if you eat chicken, and the chicken ate worms, then you’ve eaten worms!
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